The idea that everything “good” is not “right” is probably not a new concept to anyone. However, even with awareness there is a tendency to overwhelm and overcomplicate our lives with really good things. What do I mean by this? Take for example the woman in a relationship with a great guy who is focused on building his career. At first glance there is nothing wrong with this, except that this woman has been divorced for four years, is the mother of two teenagers and has spent the larger part of her adult years supporting her ex-husband’s career and raising their children. Although she holds no regrets for those decisions, her desire at this stage of life is to be in a relationship with a partner that can support her dreams as much as she can support theirs. Someone who is in the season of their life where they can invest in a relationship, relax and travel. So yes, this may be a good guy, but not the right guy for this particular women and what she needs and desires in this stage of life. We can also look at the father of three small children, that was presented with a job opportunity that would require more travel than his current job. At present he carries a great deal of guilt for not being able to spend enough time with his children and be the supportive partner that his wife needs. He noticed that he’s becoming irritable with his family and drinking more to cope with the stress and guilt. Although this new job would offer good money and career advancement, it wouldn’t necessarily be the right decision for his current situation. Lastly we have the over scheduled family that is actively involved with their church, have demanding careers, and a mix of sports and performing art activities for their children. Although taken individually these activities enrich their lives, at the end of the day, they are tired, anxious, and rarely have any downtime to spend together as a family. Do they continue to run from obligation to obligation? Do they volunteer to bake for the upcoming church picnic, or do they opt out of those good things to do what is right for their family and their wellbeing?
With decisions, the answers aren’t always clear, and sometimes you have to set boundaries and say no to really good things. Walking away from something good is never easy, but walking towards what’s right keeps us in line with our purpose and focused on what really matters. Knowing what your goals, values, and overall path are for whatever season of life you are in, helps makes some of these difficult decisions easier. With every tough decision you should ask:
1) What season of life am I in?
2) What is the vision for my family, career, relationships, etc.?
3) How will I feel if I make the decision to move forward or away from this?
If any of those answers are coming from a place of fear, i.e. “I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else”, “I’m afraid my kids will fall behind”, “I’m afraid I’ll never have this opportunity again”, then chances are the decision is not the right one. Fear based decisions keep us on the hamster wheel of life, repeating the same patterns and staying stuck in overwhelm and frustration. Having an abundance mindset allows us to have faith that there are always more good things for us on the road ahead.